i dont know how to make you understand anymore. you just dont understand what i mean, what i want, what i need. i already said all that i could say, still you dont get it. anyway, i said it and i say it again. i dont know what i did to lose your trust, if i even had it in the first place. i cannot accept it that youre insecure about me. i am disgusted that you can acutally think that im cheating on you. that is just ridiculous to me, especially all that ive done and have been doing for you. a relationship goes 2 ways. it cant survive with me trusting you and being secure, but you not trusting me and being insecure. it cant survive with me giving in and doing all the work and you hoping that my success complements your lack of achievements. no. it doesnt work that way. you cant rely on me all the time you cant you cant cause im not superwoman. everyone in this world relies on me. i want to look for someone i can rely on too. but you, you want to be like the rest. you want to rely on me. and you want to be the one with the privilege to rely on me the most just cause youre my top priority. do you know how much that breaks me. i want you to study hard, to do well, for the best of us. but no, you refuse to do so. childish and immature way of thinking that that would show your love for me. NO. that destroys me. dont you understand me ? if you do, then you wouldnt think that giving up would show me your love.
if you want to know why i seem to blow up at the slightest things you do nowadays when i didnt last time, let me tell you. its because you became increasingly immature and insecure. the things you do, you say are just so frustrating and ridiculous to me. im already stressed and this just isnt acceptable to me. i dont have time and energy to play with you now. for you to think and suspect me of unfaithfulness, or leaving you is just crazy to me. i dont think i deserve this. it isnt fair to me.
