1. i dont want you anymore 2. i am distancing from you 3. i think youre not good enough for me
its always one of the above right? your fucking insecurities. im so sick and tired of them you know? one entire year ive tried to reassure you, till you just choose to be completely emotionally dependent on me. ok, so youre depressed, youre tired, i ought to be understanding and continue supporting you. is that what youre expecting of me?
well excuse me, its not like i havent had my brush with depression. i freaking know how it feels like to have extreme moodswings, feeling lost in unfamiliar emtional terrains within yourself. and i think i have more reasons than you to be tired. but you dont see me clinging on to you like a life support right ? and you cant even understand that its thus difficult for me to still support you so extensively. obviously its where my short temperedness and frustration stem from. you think its easy for me ? i know its not easy for you and thats why i dont expect much from you. i work, i tire, i suffer but do i complain ?
even so, i make my best effort to cheer you up. you know them, i dont have to state the little things i do, the way i approach you, how i try to make you feel. but i dont feel like its appreciated tho its not easy for me to put in the effort. and its just so easy for you to pick a fight. and you ask me why i flare so easily ? HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOU BOTHERED TO PUT IN EFFORT AND THE PERSON YOU CARE FOR JUST IGNORES IT AND CHOOSES TO UPSET YOU INSTEAD.
you, you think i dont want you. you think that i would dump you at first possible opportunity when someone else of a better calibre comes along. you think that i feel youre not good enough for me.
DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURTS.
but, but i wont bother to reassure you anymore. i wont bother to let you feel secure about our relationship like how i did for the past year. i wont bother. if you dont have confidence in yourself, in who and what you are, fine. but the fact that you dont even have the confidence in me, in me to trust that i do care for you, thats just way too much to bear for me. i wont accept such mentality any longer.
theres no point hanging on to me by pleas and begs. neither of us would be happy in such a partnership. pleas and begs are merely words, empty as words can get. give me feelings, let me feel that you and i do love. thats how we stay together.
emotions, do you understand feelings? its them, and not the words that count. words are empty without emotions to fill them.
